Adrift II
by Lisa Brown
Summary: A long time coming but here is chapter six.
1. Default Chapter

"Harm didn't recognize me." Mac thought to herself. "Maybe that is just as well. I need to finally let go of what will never happen and move on with my life; with a man who changed his whole life to be with me."  
  
Just then Mic walks up behind Mac.  
  
"Sarah."  
  
Mac turns to face him. She had made up her mind she is not looking back anymore.  
  
"Sarah we need to talk."  
  
"You were reading my mind Mic." She answered resolutely. "Let me go first please."  
  
"Alright. Let's go find somewhere a little more private shall we?"  
  
They go outside of the hospital to a nice garden area. The late afternoon sun was warm and comforting. There was a slight breeze among the nicely groomed bushes, recently mowed grass and well established trees.  
  
"This looks like a good place." Mac said as she motioned to Mic to sit down on the bench.  
  
"I know things haven't happened the way we planned. And that I have been a mess the last few days. But my head is clear now. I know that Harm is going to be alright. There is no need to wait any longer."  
  
Mic was jittery inside. He was sure that she was going to tell him that all of this has made her realize she isn't in love with him and that she can't marry him. He braced himself for the impact.  
  
"So if the church is still available, I think we should re-schedule the wedding for this weekend."  
  
Mic was motionless. That wasn't what he had expected to hear.  
  
"Mic? Are you listening? I want to re-schedule the wedding for next weekend."  
  
"Yeah, I heard what you said" He answers in disbelief.  
  
"Then what's the matter?" She asks somewhat confused.  
  
"I don't think you meant it Sarah. I have been watching you these last few days. I know you have feelings for Harm." Mic says painfully as he turns away. He couldn't bring himself to say that he knew she was in love with him. "I came to tell you that I don't think that we should re-schedule. But now..."  
  
Mac takes Mic's face in her hands. She sees the love and pain in his eyes. She couldn't deny that she has feelings for Harm.  
  
" I do have strong feelings for Harm. He has been there for me and I have for him, many times. He has always been a very good friend. And at one point, there could have been something between us. But we both knew that it wasn't the right thing for either of us. That part of our relationship is in the past. The only thing that we have is friendship now."  
  
"I want to believe you Sarah. But you have shut me out these last few days. How can I be your husband if this is how you're going to act in times of trouble?"  
  
"I have thought about what you said the other night. That you are always the last one I come to in a crisis. And I think it is because I am afraid to depend on you. Afraid if I do something will happen to you too. But I am not going to keep you at arms length anymore. If I have learned anything from this incident, it is that I am ready more than ever to let go of my past and fully commit to my future with you."  
  
Mic had waited a long time to hear those words. Deep down he always knew she was holding out hope for Harm. "Can this be true? he asked himself, "Is she really letting go and fully giving herself to me?"  
  
"Please Mic, talk to me. Tell me what you're thinking?  
  
Mic took Sarah in his arms and held her tightly. Struggling within himself as to what he was going to believe. The words from the woman he loves and has changed his whole life for, the words that he has waited so long to hear, or the small voice of caution deep in his soul.  
  
"I love you Sarah MacKenzie." he said as he pulled away and looked into her eyes, "I can't wait until I can call you my wife."  
  
Then it's settled Mac thought to herself.  
  
"I love you Mic Brumby. We better let everyone know about the new date."  
  
Walking hand in hand, they make their way to give everyone the news. 


	2. Countdown

In the main lobby at the hospital everyone gathered to talk about Harm's memory loss and what they could do to help.  
  
"Well the doctors are optimistic that given a few days his memory will improve." The admiral said. "We just need to be supportive of the Commander and Renee and let the doctors do their work."  
  
"Renee you know if there is anything we can do call anytime." Harriet said giving her a hug.  
  
"Thank you. I will. I must admit I was feeling a little bit on the outside when all of this started. Now knowing that I have your support also helps a lot." Renee told everyone.  
  
At that moment Mic and Mac walked up to join the group. They were both smiling.  
  
"Well it is good to see smiles about now." The admiral said commenting on their demeanor.  
  
"Yes sir. Mic and I have rescheduled our wedding. It will be this weekend."  
  
"That's great!" Chloe squealed giving Mac a hug.  
  
"Well now that you mention it ma'am, I did take a message from the Chaplin some time ago. In the midst of the entire goings on I forgot about it. He said the chapel is available next weekend so I guess you're in luck." Bud said.  
  
"Well then that makes if official." Said Mic with his bright aussie grin.  
  
He looked over at Renee and could tell that she was relieved by the news. He smiled at her and nodded his head in understood agreement.  
  
"Is there anything that we can do to help ma'am?" Harriet asked.  
  
"Just spread the word." Mac said. "It may not be possible for some, but I know those who are most important will be there."  
  
"That means me doesn't it Mac?" Chloe asked.  
  
"Of course it does. We'll make the call and get it arranged."  
  
"I know we only have 6 days, but maybe by then Harm will be well enough to be there too."  
  
"That would be nice. But I think the most important thing for Harm is to focus on getting well." Mac replied. There was a small tension in the air  
  
and the admiral made a mental note of it.  
  
"Well I am going back to Harm's room now." Renee said as she pushed the elevator button.  
  
"Harriet and I need to get little AJ and head home."  
  
"I will stay in touch with the doctors and Renee if you have any questions just give me a call and I will keep you informed."  
  
"Thank you, admiral. That will be a big help for me." Renee said as the elevator doors closed.  
  
On the way up she couldn't help but hope that Harm didn't recover his memory until after the wedding. "If they just finally get married, I know everything will be alright." She thought.  
  
Harm had been sleeping for some time. Renee walked in his room and saw him lying there peacefully. She had been so worried about him when they didn't know whether he was dead or alive. But it wasn't just the fact that he was missing that worried her. She saw how upset Mac was, acting like she was the woman in his life.  
  
Renee and Mic both knew there was something more than friendship between them. Mic had tried to act confident at their engagement party when the two them spent all that time alone together on the admiral's porch. "Let them say their goodbyes." He said. But if they were only friends, then what kind of goodbyes did they have to say? Deep down she and Mic knew that they had feelings for each other.  
  
'Is he blind to how Mac was behaving these past days?' She wondered. 'His fiancée all torn up over another man. Yeah, they are "best friends".'  
  
But anyone with half a brain can tell it goes beyond being best friends." She didn't know what Mac had said to put Mic at ease about their relationship, but whatever it was it worked. When Mic gave her that smile and nod of understanding she knew what it meant. He was trying to tell her not to be worried anymore, that everything was alright for her and Harm and him and Mac.  
  
She was praying that he was right. But if he was right, why was there that hint of tension in the air when Chloe mentioned Harm being well enough to attend the wedding? 'Maybe I am just so used to feeling guarded about this whole Harm and Mac thing I imagined it. Maybe I am finally getting a break.' She thought.  
  
I hope this doesn't make me evil, but this memory loss it the best thing that could have happened. 


	3. Behind the Charade

"Colonel," the admiral called on his way to the elevator.  
  
"Yes sir." Mac responded.  
  
"I know that you are leaving early today. But I would like to see you in my office before you leave."  
  
"Yes sir."  
  
The elevator doors closed and Mac went on to her office. She knew why he wanted to see her. She hadn't been to see Harm since he was brought to Bethesda two days ago. She tried to tell herself that it was because there was much to do before Saturday. But that was a lie. In order to keep her resolution she had to keep as much space between them as possible.  
  
As she entered her office the phone rang.  
  
"Colonel Mackenzie."  
  
"Sarah? It's me Trish."  
  
She has always liked Harm's mother. "Hi. Are you doing ok?"  
  
"I'm doing better now that I have seen my son. I was expecting to have seen you by now."  
  
"I'm sorry. I just wanted to give you some time with him." Which wasn't entirely untrue, "I didn't want to intrude."  
  
"I appreciate that Sarah. But you wouldn't be intruding at all. I know how close he feels to all of you at JAG."  
  
"How is he doing?"  
  
"He's getting his strength back. They are releasing him this afternoon."  
  
"That is wonderful news. How is his memory coming?" Mac asked cautiously.  
  
"He only remembers being a Navy pilot nothing about becoming a lawyer and going to JAG."  
  
Part of Mac was relieved to hear that. It would be easier this way.  
  
"The doctors tell me the more familiar faces and places that he is around, the better the chance he will remember."  
  
Mac knew what was coming next.  
  
"I am asking all of Harm's friends at JAG to drop by for a short visit tonight. I know that you're busy with the wedding and all."  
  
"I'll be there." She said. Mac couldn't turn her down. Besides how would she explain her absence?  
  
"Thank you. I wanted you especially to be there. The two of you have been through so much together. I am hoping that your close friendship will help bring his memory back."  
  
'And I am hoping that it doesn't, at least not yet.' Mac thought to herself.  
  
*******************************  
  
Mac closed the file she had been working on and looked at the clock. It was 1400. She stood got her purse and cover, let out a deep sigh and headed toward the admiral's office.  
  
As she approached she noticed Tiner wasn't at his desk and the door was standing open. The admiral saw her and motioned her in.  
  
"You wanted to see me sir?"  
  
"Please close the door and have a seat Colonel."  
  
The admiral had a good idea of what was going on. He had seen these two do this little dance for a few years now. Even though he had never discussed it with the others, he was sure it was as obvious to them as well. Everyone was just standing back and waiting to see if these two knuckle heads would ever stop this ridiculous charade. When Mac had announced her engagement, he thought they had moved on with their lives. But with the recent turn of events he couldn't let this go any further.  
  
"Right now I just want you to listen. I am not speaking to you as your CO I am speaking as a friend."  
  
"Sir." Mac said as she started to stand.  
  
"Please just humor me."  
  
Mac eased back into the chair and sighed.  
  
"I had promised myself not to get involved in this little dance you and the Commander have been doing. It is your business and I thought it would work itself out eventually. And it looked like had, you were to marry Brumby and Rabb is dating Renee. But the events of the last several days tell a different story."  
  
"Sir the Commander has been a good friend to me over the years. I don't have to tell you all the times we have pulled the other out of the fire. Shouldn't I have been concerned?" Mac interjected trying not to sound defensive.  
  
"Of course you should. "  
  
"I don't understand."  
  
"Bud, Harriet, Chloe and even Brumby were concerned. We all wanted to see that he made it alright. You weren't Colonel Mackenzie concerned close friend and colleague, you were Sarah Mackenzie distraught fearful woman in love."  
  
Mac was speechless. She didn't know how to respond. She got up and went over and looked out the window so the admiral couldn't see the tears welling up.  
  
"I know you and Brumby are to get married in 2 days. I just hate to see you make a mistake."  
  
The admiral walked up and handed her a tissue. Mac dabbed her eyes and turned to face him.  
  
"Thank you sir I appreciate your concern for me. But I have made my decision. I am marrying Mic on Saturday."  
  
The admiral went back to his desk and sat down. There wasn't anything else to be said.  
  
"Well then Colonel I wish you and Brumby all the best."  
  
"Thank you sir."  
  
"Will we be seeing you and Brumby at Rabb's this evening?"  
  
"Yes sir we'll be there."  
  
"Dismissed."  
  
"Aye, aye sir." 


	4. Another Time, Another Place

Trish returns to Harm's room and sees how uncomfortable he seems. He tries to be polite to this woman but she knows her son needs some rescuing.  
  
"Renee," Trish calls as she walks in the room, "I was wondering if I could borrow you for a minute."  
  
"Sure," she answers somewhat nervously.  
  
"Excuse us, Harm. We won't be long," Trish tells her son.  
  
"It's ok. Take your time," Harm answers, trying not to sound as relieved as he feels.  
  
There have been so many unfamiliar faces, volunteering monstrous amounts of information. As well as a beautiful woman, who desperately wants to be remembered, camped out day and night. So Harm is quite relieved to be rescued by the only person he does knows.  
  
Welcoming the quite, Harm again tries to come to terms with the effects of the crash.  
  
'This feels like an episode of the Twilight Zone! I have never wanted to be anything except a pilot. And now I am supposed to believe that I am a lawyer!' He thinks as frustration nips at the edges of his mind. 'I can't recall one legal term or a single day of law school!"  
  
"Thanks, Mom." Harm sighs heavily as his mother comes back into the room alone. "How did you manage this reprieve without hurting Renee's feelings?"  
  
"I need a few things so I asked if she would get them for me," Trish said, smiling at her son.  
  
"It's hard to picture myself as anything other than a pilot," Harm speaks in disbelief.  
  
"You bring as much passion and ability to being a lawyer as you ever did being a pilot," she says proudly.  
  
"I will just have to take everyone's word on that one," he says sounding very skeptical. "I have been told that I was on my way back for my best friends wedding when I had to punch out."  
  
"Yes, that's right, Lieutenant Colonel Sarah Mackenzie. They postponed the wedding when they heard you were missing."  
  
"Wow. I hate to hear I caused something that important to be put on hold," Harm said regretfully.  
  
"Don't worry, they have rescheduled for this weekend and everything is back on track."  
  
"So that's why she hasn't been to see me, wedding plans?"  
  
"She has seen you. Mac was here when you were first brought in."  
  
"Mac, I thought you said her name is Sarah?"  
  
"I'm sorry, son. Everyone calls her Mac, for Mackenzie."  
  
"That first day was all disorienting for me. All the excitement from these strangers and a woman that I am supposedly involved with, I don't really remember who was there."  
  
"I spoke with her this morning. She told me she didn't want to intrude on my time with you. But you will see her tonight."  
  
"Tonight?"  
  
"Yes, I have asked your friends from JAG to come by your apartment this evening. I am hoping their presence, in your apartment, will help you remember."  
  
"What if I never remember?" Harm asks, obviously frustrated.  
  
"You know the doctor said that this should only be temporary," Trish reminds him.  
  
"Let's hope he's right."  
  
Renee has been antsy all afternoon. She is not looking forward to having Mac coming tonight. She does not know if she will ever feel comfortable around Mac but it would be a lot easier to try to be if she were already married to Mic.  
  
There was a knock at the door. Renee could feel her shoulders tensing up. 'Everything is fine. Mac is marrying Mic on Saturday; there isn't anything to worry about,' she tells herself waiting to see who has arrived.  
  
Bud and Harriet walk in, bringing with them some pictures of Harm and little AJ, along with several more stories. Harm politely sits with them on the couch, looking through pictures and listening to how attentive he has been to their child, his godson, introducing him to airplanes and such. But not one picture or recollection, stirred any familiarity in him.  
  
The next to arrive is AJ. He walks over to Harm with an announcement the he hopes will lift his spirits and serve to tie his two worlds together.  
  
"Commander I have a surprise for you. An old friend from your Academy days has crossed our path at JAG earlier today, and I took the liberty of inviting said friend here this evening," AJ announces. He isn't quite finished when Mac and Brumby walk into the room.  
  
Immediately, Harm stands and walks over to Mac and takes her in his arms, lifting her into a warm embrace. A hush falls over the room as everyone looks on with anticipation of the fall out to come. Mac is taken off guard by Harm's greeting. She loses herself in the moment, reciprocating the embrace as the deepest part of her soul is stirred by his touch. Mic moves to intervene but hesitates as he hears Harm's words.  
  
"The admiral said that you were coming." Harm squeezes her a little tighter. "Diane, you are just what the doctor order."  
  
'Diane!' Mac's soul froze. 'He called me Diane!' She immediately stiffens and pushes herself out of his embrace. Harm is confused and looks into her eyes and sees clearly he has injured her. Mac turns away and rushes out the door.  
  
Harm instinctively goes to follow her but is met at the door by his Academy buddy, Sturgis Turner. Harm looks at Sturgis with a very confused look matched by the same confused look on Sturgis's face.  
  
"Harm," Sturgis asks, "did you just say 'Diane?'"  
  
Harm's delight to see his friend is lost in his concern for Diane. "Yes, and someone needs to go after her."  
  
"Don't worry mate, I will take care of her." Mic says as he walks between Harm and Sturgis, disappearing down the stair well.  
  
"Who is that guy and why is he going after Diane?" Harm asks, getting more upset by the moment.  
  
"Harm, let's go back inside." Sturgis says putting his arm around Harm's shoulder, turning him around.  
  
Harm takes a couple steps, then stops, looking at all of these faces staring at him. His confusion and anger are welling up on the brink of overflowing. Renee walks over to him to try to be of some comfort, yet that kind gesture was like a trigger on a gun, and Harm turns again and shoots out the door. 


	5. chapter 5

Harm runs like a racehorse in the Kentucky Derby. His heart pounds as the adrenaline pulses through his body. The enormity of what has occurred is finally finding its way to the surface. The gauntlet of emotion begins and his pace grows faster as each builds on the other.  
  
Frustration-- he is tired of groping in the dark, trying to make sense of faces and places.  
  
Regret—for the hurt he causes not being able to remember people who obviously are a part of his life and care about him.  
  
Anger mingled with fear, over the possibility of never regaining the missing pieces of his life.  
  
Lastly, confusion about the one person he thought could help him find his way out of this mess. Nothing seemed familiar to him outside his mother until he saw her. Looking at Dianne sent a spark of hope and relief that all would be right with the world. His going to her and scooping her up into his arms was as natural to him as breathing. He could feel her returning those same feelings, their connection. Then the foundation crumbled beneath him as she pushed him away, and with such hurt in her eyes.  
  
'Why did she run from me?' His inner voice screams.  
  
Harm finally stops. He walks up and brushes his finger over his father's name.  
  
The car ride home was quiet. Mic decides to leave things alone for a while. That caution he felt at the hospital was creeping up on him and on some level, he is afraid to ask, afraid what he may find out. He saw her face; she was surprised yet very pleased to be in his arms.  
  
Mac unlocks her door, drops her keys on the table and walks over to the window. Mic closes the door and quietly stands behind her. He hesitates, fearful of possible rejection. Yet he gently puts his arms around her waist and pulls her toward him. She leans back into his embrace, resting her temple against him, laying her hands over his.  
  
"I feel so guilty." She sighs.  
  
Trying not to jump to any conclusion of what she is really feeling, he asks "Why?"  
  
"If he hadn't been coming back for the wedding this never would have happened. And he wouldn't be so...so lost."  
  
Mic turns Mac around and looks into her eyes. He needs to see what is going on behind them. He sees sadness in there and the need for comfort and understanding. She was not pushing him away like she had done before so he decides not to give into his insecurity and takes her into his arms and holds her close.  
  
"This isn't your fault Sarah. You know that you couldn't have prevented any of what happened."  
  
She could not admit to herself much less to Mic, the truth. That she thought Harm had made a break though. Hoping with his near death experience so fresh in his mind, he was ready to declare his love for her. She could swear that she felt his love as he held her in his arms. Then to hear him call her Dianne, knowing that those feeling were not for her, broke her heart.  
  
"I just wasn't expecting what happened. Yet it shouldn't have surprised me."  
  
"What do you mean, it shouldn't have surprised you?"  
  
"When Harm was at the Academy, he was involved with a woman who looked very much like me."  
  
"And her name is Dianne."  
  
"Was, she was murdered. And for a while after Harm and I met I thought he was looking at her when he looked at me."  
  
"That must have been awkward for you." He says trying to be understanding.  
  
"It didn't take long for Harm to see me for who I am. It was just when he responded so strongly when he saw me, I thought he had a break through."  
  
"And when he called you Dianne?"  
  
"It hurt to feel like I had never existed."  
  
Now Mac looks into Mic's eyes. She sees his insecurity and knows he needs some reassurance.  
  
"Mic, it's not what you think. Yes, Harm means a lot to me. He is my very dear friend. But I meant what I said at the hospital, I am ready to commit to you. Nothing has changed that."  
  
As Mac holds Mic close, he quells once more the growing sense of caution, telling himself once they are married, everything will be all right.  
  
Sturgis was not able to catch Harm, so he went back upstairs. After the admiral properly introduces Sturgis, Bud and Harriet move toward the door.  
  
"It was good to meet you Commander." Harriet turns to Sturgis and she and Bud walk out.  
  
"Likewise, Lieutenant" Sturgis says shaking their hands, "I look forward to getting to know you."  
  
Renee stands staring out the window.  
  
Trish walks over and puts her hand on her shoulder. "This must be difficult for you."  
  
Renee nods still staring out the window, "I want to help him but I know that I can't." She says with a sad acceptance in her voice.  
  
"I am grateful that you care so much for my son. We all feel a bit helpless right now. However, Harm knows all of us who love him are here whenever he needs us. We just need to be patient and give him time.  
  
Renee knew a little about Harm and Dianne's relationship and Mac's resemblance to her. Yet should could not help but feel hurt by Harm's reaction upon seeing Mac. The way his eyes lit up at her appearance, stirring his wounded soul. It was then she realized that whether he thought he was looking at Dianne or Mac did not matter. Somewhere in his subconscious Mac's presence connected with him. A connection she could no longer fool herself into thinking she would ever have.  
  
Renee picks up her coat and purse and turns to Trish. "I'll be available for Harm if there is anything I can do. But there is only one person who will bring Harm back to himself and we both know that person isn't me."  
  
Trish hugs Renee knowing that she was right. For she too believes, that Mac is the key to bringing Harm's memory back. Renee smiles sadly at Trish and walks silently out the door.  
  
Trish turns back to AJ and Sturgis and hears Sturgis asking, "Sir, do you know why Harm thought that woman was Dianne?"  
  
"Let me fill you in Commander."  
  
"And afterwards, would you do me a favor and go after my son?" Trish asks.  
  
"Yes ma'am. It sounds like you know where he went."  
  
"I know where he'll end up." 


	6. ch 6

For starters, if you are so inclined, you may want to re-read the previous chapters so you won't be confused. There are a flashbacks to Boomerang 2 and Lifeline and the dialogue there is JAG's. Please don't sue I just wanted the flashbacks accurate. And I don't remember if they were on a boat or bridge so if it is a mistake please forgive. And please review good or bad. Thanks.  
  
"Thanks, Mom." Harm says as he sips his coffee.  
  
"For what, honey?" She asks squeezing his hand.  
  
"For being here and sending Sturgis after me, you knew right where I would be."  
  
Trish smiles, "You were out rather late."  
  
"We played pool and had a couple drinks. We were reminiscing about our Academy days; it was nice—for a while."  
  
His smile fades as he continues. "I also appreciate you taking care of all those people, especially Renee. I feel awful about hurting her like this."  
  
"Sometimes no matter how much we try, hurting someone's feelings is unavoidable."  
  
"I did plenty of that last night. Damn this amnesia!" He says throwing his napkin on the table. "How do I get my life back?"  
  
Trish looks Harm straight in the eyes.  
  
"You were not intentionally trying to hurt Mac or Renee. This must be so difficult to do but be patient. You just got out of the hospital yesterday." Trish responds, attempting to ease her son's anxiety.  
  
Harm sighs deeply, "Sturgis told me what the admiral had explained to him about Colonel Mackenzie. He was shocked too. She could be Dianne's twin."  
  
"The resemblance is really astounding." Trish replies returning back to her meal.  
  
"When I held her there was something..." Harm says softly more to himself than anything else.  
  
"Something..." Trish asks.  
  
Harm feels a little awkward but realizing that he needs to start somewhere, he elaborates.  
  
"Something different and yet familiar, and knowing that it wasn't Dianne makes sense to me now. At first, I obviously thought she was Dianne. Yet, as I held her and felt her response to me, it was different. I can't explain it."  
  
Trish could not help but smile to herself. This just re-affirms what she has believed all along, Mac is definitely the key to bringing Harm back.  
  
"Are you going into the office today?" Trish asks.  
  
"Sturgis asked me to come by and go to lunch. He still doesn't know many people so he said it would help him and it could also help me, maybe trigger something."  
  
"Sounds like a good idea."  
  
"Let's hope so."  
  
It was Mac's intention not to go back to JAG until after she returned from her honeymoon, but when the Admiral calls you at home telling you to there is an appeal pending on one of your cases, how can one refuse.  
  
Mac got off the elevator and went straight to the Admiral's office.  
  
"Hello, Ma'am." Tiner stands greeting Mac, "You may go right in the Admiral is waiting for you."  
  
"Thank you, Petty Officer."  
  
Mac walks in and stands at attention if front of the Admiral's desk.  
  
"At ease Colonel. I am sorry to have to call you but I just got notice of this first thing this morning."  
  
"It's not a problem sir. Which case is it?"  
  
"The Wallace case. Apparently, he has hired a civilian attorney and is claiming that he did not receive adequate representation citing improper conduct regarding the sharing of information between the defensive and prosecution. I am fully persuaded this is just a ploy on the part of the civilian attorney to get the verdict vacated and a new court marshal. Nonetheless, we have to get official statements from you and Commander Rabb and all the proper documentation for review of the case."  
  
At the mention of Harm's name Mac tenses up a bit.  
  
"How will Commander Rabb's current condition affect the process?"  
  
"We will just have to submit medical documentation and keep all players informed to any changes that may occur."  
  
"I will get to work right away Admiral. Is there anything else sir?"  
  
"About the other night at the Commander's apartment..."  
  
Mac did not want to discuss it really but her sudden departure needed some kind of explanation.  
  
"It was briefly disconcerting but I'm fine sir."  
  
AJ knew there was more to it than that but he respects his people's privacy and tries to stay out of their personal matters as much as possible.  
  
"Very well Colonel dismissed."  
  
"Aye, aye sir."  
  
Harm walks into the bullpen hoping that something will seem familiar to him yet, to no avail.  
  
'What are you expecting Rabb, a bolt of lighting or something.' He chastises himself.  
  
Harriet sees him right away and walks up to speak to him. "Hello Commander."  
  
"Lieutenant Sims." Harm smiles.  
  
Harriet cannot help feel a little sad. Harm usually calls her by her first name.  
  
"Is there something I can help you with?"  
  
"Yes, actually there is. I am here to have lunch with Commander Turner."  
  
"Well he is still in a meeting right now sir."  
  
"Could you show me to his office so I can wait for him?"  
  
"Yes sir I could, but how about I take you to your office?" Harriet suggests.  
  
Harm is still a little uncomfortable with all of this but he agrees and follows Harriet to his office.  
  
"I will direct Commander Turner here when he is finished."  
  
"Thank you Lieutenant."  
  
Harm stands there soaking in his surroundings. He examines the room beginning with the diplomas hanging on the wall. He reads his name and strains to place himself at graduation-- nothing.  
  
On a shelf underneath the diplomas, sits a model biplane.  
  
'This is the only object that remotely makes sense to me in this room.' He thinks as he picks it up taking a closer look. Although having a model plane in his office makes perfect sense, he cannot place where or whom it came from.  
  
As he repositions the model plane on the shelf, a photograph catches his eye. It is he and Mac and they are wearing formal attire. They were unaware of the presence of the camera, laughing with one another. Harm has his hand on the small of her back; her head tilts toward him, she is smiling with her hand resting on his shoulder.  
  
"Who am I and how did I get here?" He asks aloud.  
  
"Lieutenant Commander Harmon Rabb Jr., pilot and attorney extraordinaire, with the ego to match."  
  
A sarcastic and teasing feminine voice calls from behind him.  
  
He turns to face her.  
  
"Some would say you are a ladies man with the propensity to attract annoying blonde types."  
  
Mac walks all the way into his office and adds sincerely, "But most definitely a loyal and trusted friend."  
  
"You seem to know a lot about me." Harm replies.  
  
"We have been colleagues and friends for sometime. We can be very competitive with one another in and out of the courtroom. Yet when push comes to shove, we always back the other up."  
  
"Like when you went with me to Russia?" Harm asks.  
  
Mac's heart beat speeds up a little.  
  
"You remember that?" She asks hopefully.  
  
"No, I'm afraid not. My mother told me about it though." Harm replies regretfully.  
  
"Of course." Mac's heart sinks.  
  
"Colonel Mackenzie...." Harm starts.  
  
"Please Harm, call me Mac."  
  
"Mac, I want to apologize for the other night. I didn't mean to..."  
  
"Harm no apology is necessary. Actually I should apologize to you for running out like that."  
  
"Why did you run away?"  
  
Mac walks over to the window. "I just didn't know how to respond to what happened."  
  
"I know that feeling."  
  
Harm walks over and stands next to her. Mac turns to look at him.  
  
"Can I ask you a question?"  
  
"Sure."  
  
"Is there something ...." He hesitates not sure how to put it.  
  
"Something?" She prompts.  
  
"Something going on....between us?"  
  
Mac blushes and is suddenly very uncomfortable. She turns and moves away.  
  
"What makes you ask that?" She asks trying to be nonchalant.  
  
Harm follows her, putting his hands on her shoulders, he turns her to face him again. He searches her eyes for the answer with a tender longing and uncertain familiarity.  
  
The smell of his cologne and gentle curiosity start to hypnotize her weakening her defenses.  
  
"Because when I held you in my arms I felt..."  
  
"Hey buddy, are you ready?" Sturgis asks as he walks in.  
  
With the spell broken, Mac moves away from Harm and starts to leave.  
  
"I'm sorry Colonel did I interrupt something?" Sturgis asks a bit surprised and embarrassed.  
  
"No. I have to get going anyway." Mac responds relieved by the interruption.  
  
"Would you care to join us for lunch?" Strugis offers.  
  
"Thanks, but some other time. I have some paper work to finish for the Admiral and then I have the final touches for the wedding to attend to; you're invited of course Commander."  
  
"Thank you Colonel. And if I don't see you before, I will see you then."  
  
"Have a good lunch." Mac says as she heads back to her office.  
  
Harm stands there wondering about this unmistakable connection with this woman who is about to marry someone else.  
  
"You want to tell me what was going on in here? It looked like I interrupted something pretty important." Sturgis says bringing Harm out of his thoughts.  
  
"I wish I knew man, I wish I knew."  
  
"That waitress was rather interested in you Sturgis." Harm wryly comments as they walk into the entrance of the mall.  
  
"I'll let you know how it turns out." Sturgis replies as he stands reading the mall directory. "I wish I knew what kind of wedding gift to buy for the Colonel."  
  
Sturgis's casual comment brings a somber mood over Harm's face.  
  
Sturgis notices but does not say anything. They start walking again when suddenly Harm stops in front of a travel agency, staring intently at a brochure picturing the Sydney Opera House.  
  
"Harm?" Sturgis calls, but Harm does not hear him. He is lost in thought.  
  
Flashes of him and Mac on a bridge come to his mind.  
  
"Harm!" Sturigs raises his voice shaking his shoulder, "Hey man, are you alright."  
  
"Oh, uh, yeah I'm alright."  
  
"You want to tell me where you were just now?"  
  
"Australia, I think."  
  
"Does that mean something is coming back to you?"  
  
"I'm not sure...maybe."  
  
"Good. You want to tell me about it?"  
  
"Not yet."  
  
"Ok. Well then, we had better hurry up. I need to get back to the office."  
  
"Lead on."  
  
That evening Harm and Trish had a good dinner talking and reminiscing about when he was a boy, the good and the bad. Again coming to why he had to stop flying and change his designator. Then the conversation came to Mac.  
  
"I saw Mac today."  
  
"Oh? Where?"  
  
"At JAG headquarters when I went to have lunch with Sturgis."  
  
"I thought she was on leave with the wedding and all."  
  
"She is but apparently a case we worked on together is being appealed so she had to come in to do some paper work about it."  
  
"How is your current condition going to affect this appeal?"  
  
"The admiral said we would just provide them medical documentation about what has happened and when something changes we would keep all involved up to speed."  
  
"So how did your visit to JAG go? Anything seem familiar to you?"  
  
"Not really. It was a bit uncomfortable being there, knowing that is where I have been for many years, yet feeling completely out of place. Then Mac came in."  
  
"And..." Trish asks hopefully.  
  
"She was being playful and lighthearted. She told me that we were good friends always there for on another." Harm pauses.  
  
"And I started feeling that...that connection again. I feel like there is more to our relationship that she let on."  
  
"And...." Trish says again prompting him to continue.  
  
"I asked her if there was something more between us."  
  
"I have wondered that myself for sometime son. But you would always say you were just very good friends, or evade the issue altogether."  
  
"Well she didn't really give me an answer. We were interrupted and she left rather quickly."  
  
"Ahh. I see." Trish smiles to herself.  
  
"Anything else happen?"  
  
"Well nothing much, just when Sturgis and I were at the mall today I had a flash of me and Mac on a bridge and I think we were in Australia."  
  
"Harm, that's great. You were in Australia with Mac trying a case."  
  
"This isn't going to make sense, because it doesn't make sense to me. But I don't think that Mac should marry this Brumby guy."  
  
"There's not much time. They are to be married day after tomorrow...and tomorrow is almost here." Trish says looking at the clock seeing it was almost midnight.  
  
"I have no business telling her not to marry this man. Obviously, she must be in love with the guy or else she wouldn't be marrying him. Besides, what reason could I give her?" Harm answers agitatedly, his voice showing his frustration and weariness from a long day.  
  
"Well, why don't you turn in. Maybe things will look better in the morning." "Sounds good, let me walk you to your car." Harm sees his mother to her car and gives her a kiss goodnight.  
  
He lays in bed tossing and turning in a fitful sleep. As more images flashed though his mind.  
  
Sleep is truly healing for the body. The images suddenly start to flow and Harm's sleep becomes more even.  
  
It is a clear night. He and Mac are standing on a bridge.  
  
"We're not in Washington. We're not even on the same continent." Mac begins.  
  
"Location doesn't change who we are." Harm answers solemnly.  
  
"Most men would disagree with you."  
  
"I know. I disagree with myself sometimes too."  
  
"You just can't let go, can you?"  
  
"Not yet."  
  
Mac searches his eyes. "You're just this way with me, aren't you?"  
  
"Yeah, I'm only this way with you."  
  
"I guess I should be flattered."  
  
"You should....Sarah."  
  
Harm sits up in bed rubbing his face and temples.  
  
"Ahh Mac." He sighs heavily.  
  
Mic whistles in the kitchen making breakfast. 'Just one more day and Sarah and I will be off on our honeymoon and on with the rest of our lives.'  
  
"Breakfast is ready love." He calls to Mac who is still getting dressed.  
  
"I'll be there in a minute." She answers.  
  
As she stands in front of the mirror finishing up her makeup, putting on her jewelry, her mind drifts back to yesterday afternoon in Harm's office.  
  
'I almost told him, had we not been interrupted, I would have told him how I feel. What a mistake that would have been, he still sees Dianne when he looks at me. It's his feelings for Dianne that he senses when we are together.' She convinces herself.  
  
"Come on Sarah your omelet is getting cold."  
  
Mac comes to the table and Mic kisses her on the cheek.  
  
"Just the way you like it, with lots of cheese." He smiles pouring a glass of juice.  
  
"Remember after breakfast you're out of here. I have a lot of girl stuff to do when Harriet and Chloe get here."  
  
"Why didn't Chloe stay here with you last night?" Mic asks.  
  
"I'm not sure. Something about a surprise and it would be easier to stay with Harriet. I am supposed to find out today."  
  
"Well I have a few things I am going to do today as well. After all, this is my last day as a bachelor you know." Mic grins trying to bait her.  
  
"I'm not worried. You wouldn't do anything that I wouldn't do." She smiles slyly in reply.  
  
The doorbell cuts short their playfulness.  
  
"That will be them." She says standing to answer the door.  
  
"Hey, don't I get to finish my breakfast?"  
  
"What's left to finish? Are you going to eat the plate too?"  
  
The doorbell rings again. Mac opens the door and her countenance registers the surprise on her face.  
  
"What is it love?" Mic asks coming to the door.  
  
Mic's countenance changes as well, accompanied by a knot forming in his stomach.  
  
"Harm, what are you doing here?" Mac asks motioning him to come in.  
  
"Umm I just had a couple questions." He says a little hesitantly.  
  
Mac following his lead, "Oh about the appeal right, come in."  
  
"Hello Harm." Mic manages to get out. "How are things coming?"  
  
"Slow. And since I'm not myself at the moment, Mac really is the only one who can help—you know with the appeal and all."  
  
Mac knew what he meant. She just hoped that Mic didn't pick up on it.  
  
"I don't have much time. Harriet and Chloe will be here any minute." Mac says trying to put Mic at ease.  
  
"It shouldn't take long. I know you have a lot to do today."  
  
"Well I'll be going then. I'll call you later." Mic says as he takes Mac in his arms giving her a proper kiss goodbye. Now Harm is the one with the knot forming in his stomach.  
  
The door closes and awkwardness fills the room.  
  
"So what do you need help with?" Mac breaks the silence.  
  
"You know this isn't about the appeal." Harm says moving closer to her.  
  
Mac side steps him and begins to clear the breakfast dishes.  
  
"I thought as much." She acknowledges on her way into the kitchen.  
  
Harm waits for her to come back and stands between her and the table. "About yesterday, before we were interrupted, you were going to answer my question."  
  
Mac goes to the living room.  
  
"Mac, why are you avoiding me?"  
  
"Have you remembered anything or are you just on a fishing expedition?"  
  
"A few flashbacks have come to me but not everything."  
  
"Well then you tell me the answer to your question?"  
  
"I don't know how to answer it. Everything is still out of place. I need to know what you think."  
  
"You really want to know what I think." Mac replies matter of factly.  
  
"That's why I'm here."  
  
"I'm not Dianne."  
  
Harm didn't expect that. "I know that the other night I thought you were Dianne...."  
  
She couldn't let him finish, she didn't want to take the chance of losing her resolve.  
  
"These uncertain feelings you're having must be connected to her, because we have never been more than good friends."  
  
'Why is she lying to me? I know there is more to us that what she is letting on.'  
  
"Mac I..." The doorbell interrupts Harm.  
  
'Saved by the bell.' Mac thinks as she goes to the door.  
  
"Commander, what a surprise to see you here." Harriet says walking in the door.  
  
"Harm!" Chloe exclaims moving to give him a hug.  
  
Mac reaches out and stops Chloe. "Oh I'm sorry. I forgot."  
  
"Harm was just leaving."  
  
"I'll see that the admiral gets the information."  
  
"Thanks. See you at the wedding?" Mac asks hoping that puts an end to his questions.  
  
"Yeah, sure see you at the wedding." Harm walks out.  
  
The night again begins with fitful sleep for Harm. As he replays in his dreams his recent conversations with Mac. He tosses and turns for sometime until finally the images change flowing again like a movie. His breathing evens out as the memory begins to come.  
  
"What I want most is to never loose you." Harm begins this time.  
  
"I promise you, no matter what, you won't loose me."  
  
"What I want most is... to do the right thing."  
  
"Right for who?"  
  
"You, Renee...me."  
  
"You can't do the right thing for everyone. Nobody can. You just make the best choice and hope..."  
  
Harm finally asks the burning question. "Why did you go to him so quickly?"  
  
"You pushed me away. What was I supposed to do?"  
  
"Wait."  
  
"For how long?"  
  
"As long as it takes."  
  
A tear rolls down Mac's cheek and Harm gently brushes it away.  
  
"Damn you for putting this on me."  
  
Harm takes her in his arms a second later Tiner pokes his head out. They quickly pull apart as Tiner pretends not to notice what he just saw.  
  
"Sir, Ma'am, the Admiral is asking for you."  
  
"Thank you Tiner. We'll be right in."  
  
"It's getting chilly out here." Tiner continues.  
  
Harm firmly responds, "Yes it is Tiner."  
  
Finally taking his cue Tiner goes back inside.  
  
"Well, we should go inside."  
  
"I know." Mac says reaching up and lightly kisses him. She moves away but he cannot let her go. He kisses her again and the kiss deepens and builds as their brewing passion nearly overwhelms them.  
  
Mac pulls away. He looks deeply into her eyes earnestly searching her soul for an answer. The one she provides is not the one he was hoping for.  
  
"We're getting to good at saying goodbye." She says turning to go back inside.  
  
Harm sighs deeply and follows her in.  
  
Harm sits up in bed, his adrenaline pumping, as wave after wave of memories hit him. The floodgate has opened and it has all come back to him.  
  
The day could not be more beautiful. The weather is fabulous. It is just the right temperature, not a cloud in the sky. A slight breeze blows and everything smells fresh and new.  
  
Harriet helps Mac with her veil.  
  
"You look beautiful Ma'am." Harriet gushes.  
  
"Harriet, please on my wedding day, call me Mac."  
  
Chloe squeals with delight as the admiral knocks on the door.  
  
"Colonel-- Mac, it's time." AJ announces.  
  
Chloe and Harriet walk out ahead leaving AJ and Mac alone.  
  
"I must say, you make a stunning bride."  
  
Mac blushes, "Thank you sir."  
  
"Mac are you..."  
  
"Ready? Yes, I am very ready sir."  
  
With that pronouncement and the organ music floating on the air, AJ walks Mac to the chapel doors. Very fatherly, AJ kisses her cheek and pulls the veil down over her face. Then the all-important cue, here comes the bride begins. Mac takes a deep breath nodding her head sharply; they begin their walk down the aisle.  
  
Already standing at the altar is her groom with his bright assize grin bigger than ever. As she walks toward him, nothing else in the world matters. All his insecurities along with the events of the previous week have faded away. With each step she takes down the aisle, his heart beats faster and he is totally in awe of her beauty.  
  
Mac smiles at Mic as she makes her way down the aisle. Yet there is this strong desire to look out over the guests and find Harm. She uses her peripheral vision as much as she can to no avail. Then chastising herself she looks steadfastly ahead renewing her focus on what is about to take place.  
  
AJ and Mac reach the altar and Mic takes her by the hand. They face the Chaplin as he begins the ceremony. Mac's heart starts beating faster as she tunes out all the voices around her. Flashing across her mind are vivid images of Harm and his flyboy grin. The day they met in the Rose Garden, the embassy dance, their trip to Russia and that kiss on the porch.  
  
'Snap out of it Mackenzie' she tells herself. Just in time to hear the Chaplin say, "Turn to one another and repeat after me."  
  
Mic turns to face his bride beaming with love for her. And he begins to repeat his vows, "...for better or for worse," he notices a distance in her eyes, "in sickness and in health," his eyes seeking reassurance with each word, "to love and to cherish..." his voice stalls as he finally admits what he has known all long, her heart isn't truly with him.  
  
Seeing the reality expressed in his face, a tear rolls down her cheek.  
  
"I'm so sorry Mic."  
  
"I know Sarah. I know." 


End file.
